My Isaac

I love the story of Abraham offering Isaac up to God. I love that the Bible paints a beautiful picture of how beloved Isaac was to Abraham. I love that Abraham shakily laid his precious son on an alter as a sacrifice to God. I love that he was willing. He was crying. He was scared... But he was willing.

I have had a huge prayer request laying on my heart for the past few months. I have been praying, of course, but I've also done some humanizing. I've wondered what I'd do if God said no. You see, I held this request so dear to my heart that I even rehearsed what I'd say if He said no. The longer I prayed for this one thing, the more I felt Him tell me to lay it down. But it's too precious to lay down, I kept thinking.  I wrestled with Him about it for awhile, but I eventually did what He asked. I had my moments where I freaked out, but I kept trying to lay it down. Day by day. Again and again. Then one day, He answered my prayer....And with the a "yes!" And as beautiful as the "yes" was, it paled in comparison to the journey to that "yes."

I realize not every prayer is answered this way. Believe me, I know what it's like to have a door slammed in my face. But I've learned a few things over the years, especially as I've asked for things so dear to my soul. I truly believe that God cares about the heart of our desire more than the desire of our heart. I also think God wants to bless us. Truly bless us with things that have us singing and dancing. I also think He wants to bless us with things that will break our hearts. I have had great joy and great loss in my life, and I can say this with certainty: never ever ever do I want to get to a point where I care more about the gifts than The Giver. Where one "no" will thwart me into rebellion. I want to always pray for the things dearest to my heart. I want to boldly ask for the things I desire. But I also want to trust The Lord as I shakily and nervously lay them down.

My "yes" made me dance. It made me smile. It made sing. But the coolest thing it did was show me that God heard my pleas. He was always going to do what He planned to do, but through my desire He was working on me. He was waiting for me to hand over my "Isaac" so He could hand it right on back. What a beautiful Savior!