Our Scare

It's been awhile since I've blogged. I've been adjusting to my new life as a Mommy. And I love my life as Benjamin's Mommy. It's such an answered prayer that God has allowed me to stay home with him every day. And I'm grateful for every moment. I'm trying so hard not to hold on too tight, reminding myself everyday that Benjamin is God's child, that He has entrusted me to raise him while on earth, but ultimately he is His. Case in point... A few days ago Benjamin started vomiting. He vomited to the point of becoming lethargic. I'm a new Mom and have never seen a lethargic child, so this scared the pants off my already neurotic self. My first response was, "We have to call my Mom and get to the ER!" Andrew asked me the reason for calling my Mom, and I realized that this was my first instinct-to call for my Mommy. Then reality sunk in and it became clear that OMG, I am the Mom! I can't say I wasn't freaked. I have no medical background, so when my child's eyes rolled in the back of his head and he wouldn't wake to his name, I freaked. I even had to unbuckle his car seat while driving so he wouldn't choke on his throw up. I kept screaming, "Oh my gosh!" Andrew kept saying, "Stop saying 'Oh my gosh' because I don't know if 'Oh my gosh' is go to the fire station he isn't breathing or keep driving to the ER." Finally my husband slapped me in the face (with words, not abuse) and said, "Get it together, you are the Mom!" Normally, I call my Doctor Daddy in a medical crises (and this time was no different) but I realized how off my priorities were in this situation, calling for my Mom and Dad to fix this. I needed a doctor alright, but not Dr. Huff. I needed The Great Physician. And that's what I did. After I got it together, I started praying over my son in the car. At one point I heard an ER nurse say to another, "He's dying." My heart sunk to my toes and I lost all feeling. Obviously I know now that he was talking about another patient, but I think God had me hear that on purpose. He wanted to remind me that He is in charge of His child Benjamin. That He loves Him more than I could ever love Him. He reminded me that while I physically have my hands on him, He has a firmer grasp on that child than I'll ever know! My sweet boy had the full work-up. Brain and belly scans. Ultrasounds, even a swallow test. Turns out, Benjamin had a bug. The doctor came in and told me that we are just seeing the beginning. That diarrhea will start and he will be one sick child, but I wasn't scared anymore. I had everyone praying that he never gets diarrhea and guess what....he never did! After 2 days of IV fluids, we are home and my baby boy is back to his sweet self...laughing and playing as if nothing happened. What a scare this was, but how I needed it to give me a swift kick in the butt!